Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Happy Spring. Some laughs for youl

Posted by Susan B James on 3:00:00 AM with No comments
Happy Spring. 

I feel we all need laughter. I have for you my audition as a Novice Hip Hop dancer. 
(Epic fail as an audition. but it's really funny.) 
Plus the Current Washington Post Mensa Madness and their contest for Alternate meanings for common words. 

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.


Here are the winners: 

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for a really long time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

 7. Lymph, v To walk with a lisp.

 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men .

I wish you love, joy, and lots of fun reading.

PS My favorites were Innoculatte and Circumvent, What were yours? 

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Irish Magic is FREE March 17-21 Plus St Patrick's Day recipes

Posted by Susan B James on 8:27:00 PM with No comments

 Happy St Patrick's Day. 

My publisher made Irish Magic a freebie on Amazon from St. Patrick's day through Sunday, March 24.

Irish Magic is Free 3-17 - 3-21

"A quirky tale of love where and when you least expect it, but exactly when you need it most."  TomeTender Book Blog
"A wild cast of amazing characters in an imaginary world the reader will look for around every corner. Ms.James writes with depth and appreciation for Irish folklore that a romantic at heart can appreciate. CoffeeTime Romance
"A lovely cross of contemporary with a touch of fantasy. I'd definitely pick up more books like this one from Ms. James."  Trish on Goodreads
If you are in the mood for a little escape. please grab a copy. The Free starts on March 17.
If you read and enjoy it please consider leaving a review. Reviews are better than Irish Cream Brownies for authors.

Bailey's Irish Cream Brownies
are one of my favorite St Patrick's Day traditions.  Here's a link to the printable online recipe.  

This year I will be doing St Patricks Day for one. So I will not be doing corned beef and Cabbage. Instead, I plan to buy corned beef at a deli and make a Reuben sandwich.  
I also plan to have non-alcoholic Irish coffee with my Soda Bread.
Here's that recipe. 
And I may reread Irish Magic. It's been a long time since I read it.

When I wrote Irish Magic I mentioned The Quiet Man movie. Only to be told by my critique partners my audience had probably never heard of it. Since I watch it every Saint Patrick's Day I thought I would share the link to it. It's free to watch with Amazon Prime.
John Ford's gentle comedic tribute to Ireland is a great watch. Here's the original trailer.

Irish Magic is also part of a free audiobook promo through March 20

Wishing you the luck of the Irish and happy reading.

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

What Makes You Happy Today?

Posted by Susan B James on 3:00:00 AM with 1 comment

 Giving away books always makes me happy so I will lead with that. 

I am in an audiobook promotion where you can request review copies.If you love Sci Fi and Fantasy audiobooks check it out.  https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/d66acda0-6634-11eb-8ff4-8b42c23a4fd3?bundleLinkId=pPwYQH5

Irish Magic is in this promo and I have already given away four copies.

Yesterday was warm and sunny and I watched Eugene while his Dad and a friend moved all the furniture out of three rooms so the floors refinishing could start today. Eugene and I practised singing. Singing always makes me happy.

Other things that make me happy: 

I got both my COVID vaccinations and no problems. The arm was a bit sore. It usually is when I get a shot. 

Chocolate, good books and auditions. I've been cutting back on the chocolate but I bought myself new books for Valentines Day and I still have two to read. I had two auditions last week and I have an avail on one. That's Casting-Director-Speak for They are very interested.

 And a post about me turned up on the internet last week and it said I was a nice person. The phot they used might put you off though. https://www.looper.com/337141/the-real-butcher-from-american-horror-story-is-unrecognizable-in-real-life/?

What's making you happy? I would love to hear from you.

Friday, February 12, 2021

7 Ways To Be Your Own Valentine

Posted by Susan B James on 10:43:00 PM with No comments



We made it to February!
t's been 11 months since COVID Lockdowns started.
How are you doing? Do you feel there is now an end in sight?
I can't seem to get back to writing, but I know it will happen. In the meantime, I count my present blessings.

Chris brings Walter and Eugene over every weekday so Melanie can work from home. I get to watch them grow.
Jim sends pictures of him and Ella and we talk every few days.
 I am still getting auditions and an agent is looking at Lord Byron's Daughter.


Happy Valentine's Day

I know a lot of us are going to be spending Valentine's Day solo.
I've had a lot of practice at this and I have a few suggestions.
This is a good time to be your own soul mate. 

  1. Make or buy yourself a card. Inside write the things you love best about yourself. (Look at you. You are beautiful inside and out. And you have a great smile and an even better laugh. Keep going. There is so much to admire about you.)
  2. Plan a special meal. You can make it or order out. Personally, I am thinking my favorite Thai restaurant. And if you want company, plan to Skype or Zoom with a friend while you eat it.
  3. Chocolate. The joy of buying your own is getting exactly what you want. 
  4. Indulge in a get-ready time worthy of a good romance novel. Soak in a scented tub. Play music. light candles.
  5. If you enjoy dressing up, now's the time. Make yourself beautiful for you.
  6. What's an activity that gives you joy that you can do in lockdown? I love jigsaw puzzles and reading.
  7. Buy yourself a gift. I went overboard on that this year. I bought three new books. I am thinking of buying some flowers too. 


I hope you indulge yourself in some wonderful way because you are so worth it. Here are a few book suggestions.

Looking for a new book to read? If You have Kindle Unlimited, these are all free to you. https://storyoriginapp.com/to/bUKchm5
If you want to buy one, I think they are all under 4.
You can see from the samples below how different the genres are. I've read and loved The heart Collector. I put Monica Bolt's Why This is Wrong and Louise Lennox's Memories of Mistletoe on my TBR list. Because I already bought my Valentine's Books.



The books I gifted my self with are
All the Colors of the Night by Jayne Ann Krentz
Wild Rain by Beverly Jenkins
and the third book in The Magic in Manhattan series Wonderstruck by Allie Therin. What are you reading?